Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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