so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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