where am i from again
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
