just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
