I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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