I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
