I wanna bring you to show and tell
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
