Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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