you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
from now on my penis is your penis
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
