so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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