Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
