Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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