put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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