yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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