is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
