Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize