i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
