So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
