have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
