If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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