Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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