weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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