Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
