Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
