You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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