Yo dont text me then not text me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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