you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
