lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Boobs are out for the taking
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
