Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
