can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
