so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
