Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
