Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize