she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Boobs are out for the taking
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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