girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
