thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
