So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
