you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
