Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
