She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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