Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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