im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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