i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
