Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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