Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
