he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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