i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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