so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize