i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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