I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
whose parrot is this?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
