That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
