I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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