i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
