the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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