I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
