What tipped you off? The sombrero?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize