I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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