Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
