I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
