she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
