he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
