Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
