he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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