Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
