So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
