Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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